Today I went into the bathroom after changing the Schmoo's diaper and saw my reflection in the mirror: I was HOLDING A BABY. What the hell? I have a baby? I'm a mother? OK. I need more time to let this sink in.
Later on Seamus' social security card came in the mail. Even if there is no money left when he's 65, this does make it seem more real. Does it ever really sink in, parents?
5 comments:
No, it doesn't really sink in. Some days you look at your child and think 'oh my god, he's so big!' (I think I mentioned Wes is now, like, 5'9"). Some days you think, 'when did the aliens take away my precious child and replace him with this surly monster?'.
But baby- and toddler-hood is incredibly sweet and precious and I miss it. Sometimes Baby Wes or Baby Tris come back to me in my dreams, so vividly, and it makes me teary-eyed, missing them and their silky skin at that stage.
But the accurate answer is: (that song): your children are not your children, they are the sons and the daughters of life longing for itself, they come through you...
It is a privilege, I think, to be a mom. An awesome privilege.
Love
Auntie Teri
I could have told you you were a mom. (I've been reading your blog.) Looks like you're doing a great job of it, too!
Where did you get Shmoo from? Do you know about Li'l Abner's Shmoos?
Jim, know what Schmu means in German?
Can't wait for you guys to come up and let our kids meet Seamus some day.
Hoskeebo!
B
It sinks in continually in little ways. Like when you relaize you are spending a measurable portion of your income on diapers and wipes...
Auntie Teri has a question. What is Seamus's "elf name"? Is it really Schmoo? Inquiring minds want to know!!
I remember that moment, in front of the mirror. And when Dave, the cat and Rowan were all throwing up at once. Or when I got my first real headache and was alone with Rowan, who was refusing to sleep and I thought, "Well, I just don't have time to die."
No one tells you that when you have a baby, the baby isn't the only one being born. Suddenly, there's this strange woman in your brain dealing with all kinds of crap, and oh, the day you realize your own mother just came out of your mouth. That can happen before the baby, but it's worse when it happens with the baby. "I can't believe I just said that!"
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