Wow - I'd like to say the past 5 weeks have flown by, but really they haven't. The past week has though. It seems like just yesterday that I was sobbing in the office of Seamus' hot doctor telling her how overwhelmed I've been with new parenthood. "You REALLY need to talk to someone." You know it's not good when you hear those words. The next day I started to feel a lot better. That was last Friday. I'm still feeling pretty up and down. This having a baby stuff wreaks havoc on your hormones. I think things are going to continue to look up though. I spoke with Martine the Midwife today and she said everything I've been feeling is totally normal, etc. I know that, but somehow I expect more from myself than the average woman. Why I shouldn't succumb to these things, I don't know. I just thought I'd get a pass for some reason. I will be trying to attend a Post Partum Depression group at Real Birth next Wednesday, the same place where we took our birthing class with the wonderful Bonu. I also have to try to get out of the apartment more, even if it's to go sit in the stairwell alone, unable to hear the baby and what he needs (of course, Jim will be with him!) And I've been told I need visitors!
We just took Seamus for a walk, Jim carrying him in the Baby Bjorn. Even with the many people walking around our neighborhood, the very noisy garbage truck, and the high pitched voices of the college girls, Seamus fell soundly asleep by the time we walked 3 blocks to the store. Jim is so cute with Seamus. He just enjoys him. I WORRY all the time. It's so nice to be with Jim. I know how lucky I am to have had a child with him. Right now, he's swaying back and forth with Seamus in the Baby Bjorn, singing, "Seamus, Seamus, Seamie, Seamie, Shame. Schmoo, schmooey, Seamus, Seamus, Shame." It's cute. Take my word.
I know---less talk, more pictures! I will post some tomorrow if I can! Nanapow will be making another guest appearance in our baby cave tomorrow and Saturday. I'm looking forward to it very much!
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5 comments:
Greeba, when we are sick we go to the doctor...I urge you to get whatever help you can for relief from Attack of the Killer Hormones. You may also benefit from joining a "New Mother's Group"...I stumbled into one when Wes was a month old, it was moderated by a midwife and attended by a shifting group of about 10 blotto overwhelmed learning-on-the-job moms...we saved one another, cheered one another, nursed in front each other, sobbed, laughed, shared tips, shared food and drink...it was wonderful support. I imagine that if this appeals to you, it wouldn't be too hard to find one in the Big Apple. Alternatively is La Leche League meetings or the couples you met in your birth class...
Good luck, be brave, be proactive; sending waves of love and hope,
Teri
Hi Trees,
Don't worry -- Dr. Chaudhary and midwives Karen and Martine are on the case. We will do whatever is necessary. Medication may be an option ... I love medication!
Martine suggested the La Leche League meetings as well.
Ah, Greta, I feel for you, and you know how we feel in this family about support groups (we're, uh, FOR them)!
And absolutely medication (or even meditation, like that's possible...) if you need it.
All of us mommies can promise you that it will get easier. But then again I cried just the other night because I was overwhelmed about raising Stephanie. It just doesn't happen every day anymore, and I get plenty of sleep.
You are a strong brave wonderful woman and I told you long ago that you and Jim are going to be the greatest parents ever. Jim the cooing schmooing daddy is the cutest thing ever. Take solace that you have such great support, and notice how every day gets a little easier...
I never joined a mommies group but it sounds like a good idea. As I said above, there's nothing like the support of people who are going through something right along with you. It takes a village, babe.
When you hold the universe in your hands, it can sometimes be a tad overwhelming. You have no control over that, or over your body chemistry, or over the fact that the first thing a baby teaches you is how much you don't control.
BTW, Teri should tell you what really happened when she first went to a "lactation consultant" with Wes. She complained that he was voracious, ate all the time, no latch issues, etc. As she told it to me, the room went silent and she faced a roomful of glares. :-)
As for groups, when I worked in Tribeca, I used to always pass tons of women in the park over by the ferry dock, across from Pan Latin. There were at least 2 new mommies groups that met over there every morning, with lots of blankets, strollers, etc. It always made me miss my little peanut, but it seemed awesome - NYC groups always seems to match punk mommies to ex-exec mommies and hippy mommies. The mix seemed fun.
In Hoboken, there are local cafes and restaurants that have regular weekly or monthly new mom meet-ups. There's gotta be something similar in NYC. Oh, and there's this: http://www.hipmama.com/blog (Teri may have given you the hip mama book - alt moms trying to survive, and the blog is good).
I'm not a joiner, don't really like people, but Rowan made me cave in on those points, too. I didn't join a group, but only because I didn't have time to. Every mom in Hoboken knew me, through Dave and if Dave mentioned I was having a hard day in class, at least a dozen women would stop me on the street, or come into the cafe where I was sitting, and get me talking (yeah, like that's a tough one).
When you let us in, you're letting us return all the small favors and graces people gave us when we were in your shoes. Paying it forward, as it were. Thank you both for this blog.
love
souffle
Did I mention that I still can't watch news or tv that have stories about children being abused, kidnapped, etc? In Rowan's first year, NixMarie was all over the news because her stepfather... well, I won't detail it, it still gives me the shakes, what he did, but I couldn't watch tv for most of Rowan's first year.
I can't say I actively worry, but I worry at some subterranean level all the time. In the back of my head, the part that's pure emotion, I'm terrified the universe, or a crazy person, will take Rowan from me, that he'll run in the street when one of our heads are turned, that something will fall on him. I don't know that it goes away, or that it should - it makes me think ahead. Didn't stop me from picking him up and tripping on a broken sidewalk with him at 10 weeks, but it makes me think ahead. I let him do things, and I'm not this silly: http://www.thudguard.com/
But I still worry.
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