... that's my latest idea for how to get rich: I'll become a Child Sleep Consultant. Kind of like Nanny 911 or Supernanny, except without all the psychotherapeutic stuff. I'd just go into a home and figure out how to get the kids to sleep in a reasonable manner, thereby saving their parents' sanity. I figure that many parents would be willing to empty out their bank accounts for this sort of service.
But first of all, I refuse to wear the stupid cape. What do capes have to do with child care, anyway? I don't get that at all.
Secondly, I first need to figure out Greta and Seamus' sleep issues. Right now, he's like a !Kung baby, who wants to be on the breast every fifteen minutes all day long (see the post by "Mikani" here). Here's a brief summary of last night's follies:
- 9am Tuesday: on the Monday-to-Tuesday overnight, Seamus has slept about six hours in two or three long chunks. Greta and I feel that we're getting the sleep thing under control.
- 2:30pm: The three of us wake, happy, from a two-hour nap. We try out Seamus' playpad thingie (see previous post) and have some tea (see other previous post).
- 7:00pm: We begin to wonder when he's going to sleep again. He nurses, he starts to doze, he wakes up, he nurses again.
- 9:30pm: finally asleep!
- 10:00pm: Greta makes a minute adjustment to his blanket; he wakes up and wants to be fed. After a decent amount of feeding, I try soothing him, Bonu-style.
- 10:45pm: Fussy boy is back on the breast. Greta: "Why did we do this??" He's been up for eight and a half hours now.
- 10:50pm - 11:25pm: Suck, doze, root, suck, doze, squirm, root, suck.
- 11:25pm: Greta yanks out the Sound Sleeper's power cord and tosses it onto the couch. "Well, this thing obviously isn't working," she mutters.
- 11:30pm: I take off my shirt and Seamus', and try some skin-to-skin soothing and rocking. I let him suck on my pinkie for a while. This is a sweet interlude for the two of us, but when he begins to squirm vigorously and threatens to latch on to my nipple, I give him back to Greta.
- 12:15am: Finally asleep for real! ... and he doesn't wake up again until 5am. Theoretically, you're not supposed to let newborns sleep that long for fear that they won't be eating enough, but we seriously doubt that Seamus is underfed at this point.
All in all, Seamus slept only eleven hours yesterday, in shameless (shameless Seamus?) defiance of the charts that say he should be sleeping about sixteen hours. Well, I guess someone has to be at one end of the bell curve ...
So before I can embark on my new career, we need to crack the Seamus Code. Actually, I guess I need all of you to be Child Sleep Consultants and give us some suggestions. Souffle wrote us an email last night, extolling the virtues of a vibrating seat that she's going to give to us, but I'm sure that many of you out there in parent-land have other suggestions.
Actually, I suspect that all of you read the timeline above while shaking your heads and saying, "It's obvious what they're doing wrong! They just need to [blank]" ... so feel free to use the comments to fill in the blank. :-)
I suspect that the blank needs to be filled in with "... wait; it'll gradually get easier and he'll sleep longer and more easily."
Also, we are keeping in mind what Souffle said at the end of her email:
"Seamus will learn to eat, and sleep, and crawl, and laugh, and try to
make you laugh, and give you kisses and hugs and raspberries, and
learn to say "uh-oh" and "ai-uv-ooo" and sing "eee-aii-yai-oh", and
be in awe the first time you blow bubbles for him, and your head will
keep bursting at all the universe you never saw before, and it's
worth every minute of lost sleep and pain."
8 comments:
This is a very dangerous topic. You'll get a wide range of feedback most of which will be contradictory.
A small thing that helped me; Newborns should only be awake for 2 hours stretches before needing to nap again so if he's fussing you may misconstrue it for hunger and miss the windows. Keep a log and it'll help you determine what's going on.
He's also still getting into a rythm but you'll start to see patterns that will become more defined-eventually, then it'll all go to s#*t when he has growth spurts.
i agree with kathy k. the sooner you can get some bottle feeding going on the better. that way you and greta can switch off so you'll end up with twice as much sleep. beyond that, it's all exhausting, and i wish you good luck. i'd say 12 am to 5am sounds like about the best you can hope for at this point if i can remember correctly.
but then again my memory is shot because i haven't slept a full F-ing night in about 6 years.
love
s
I love what Souffle wrote. It's all true.
Of course you want answers NOW for how to deal with the Amazing Non-Sleeping Seamus.
I do remember this time, vaguely. One thing to remember is that as much as you want to help each other and endure it together, Bryan and I eventually realized (probably some wise parents told us this) that you have to take turns sleeping.
The breast pump will allow you to feed him while Greta sleeps. And you can sleep while she's up feeding him. Sleep deprivation will ultimately make you both crazy and edgy and unable to function, so you have to be religious about (a) sleeping when he sleeps and (b) taking turns sleeping.
I know you've already tried the laying down and nursing him, so Greta can doze and feed him at the same time -- I remember that was a revelation to me, that I didn't have to actually get up to nurse. Of course many parents discourage this practice, and they don't think you should encourage the baby to fall asleep while nursing. Personally I think ANYTHING that gets an infant to sleep is okay.
This is how our kids ended up in our bed for so many years; we would bring either Danny or Stephanie into bed to nurse, and they would sleep there all night after nursing. I'm a big believer in the family bed -- it's not for everyone, but I think it has resulted in children who are still very affectionate with us, and very comfortable cuddling up to us, even in adolescence. Sometimes we still all pile on our big bed and watch a show or read together. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
As for the advice about "let him cry for awhile and don't pick him up right away," I think it's great advice but very hard to do.
Oh, the vibrating seat thing is awesome. And have you tried running the Dyson to lull him to sleep?
OK, Aunt Teri offers her (possibly contradictory) advice: he will sleep if you remove stimulation. Snug burrito wrap. Warm enough. Shades drawn, lights out, minimal sound, no movement. In fact, putting him in a warmer spot than usual often worked for my babies...think how drowsy YOU get in an overly warm environment.
Must run, will be back late tonight. Seamus, are you gonna wait up for me?
Love
Auntie Teri
Yes - differing opinions - but, you can try them all ourt and see what works for you and your bunny. We did the family bed thing - but I know this is highly controversial. I kinda think Dylan still doesn't sleep through the night - and he is 24. Really - it isn't obvious that you are doing anything wrong. It is obvioius that you are in the process of finding a rhythm - following and leading dear Seamus. The leading part is harder - but, I agree with the taking turns sleeping, expressing milk, and trusting that this kind of blundering along is what we all did. Really, each baby needs different conditions - some love the burrito bit, other's feel confined. Trial and error. Souffle's words are golden. So, I didn't really add anything new - just wanted to chime in. Bizzer
We always referred to the Family Bed Thing as ... The Sibling Prevention Program.
;)
Love Auntie Teri
PS - Aunt Leenie, do you think it's too soon for me to reveal the patented GoodbyeYouHorribleBaby method?!
Hey, Auntie Teri: never mind Leenie, I want to hear about the GoodbyeYouHorribleBaby method!
Firstly, NO ONE THINKS YOU'RE DOING THIS WRONG. Seriously. You're doing the hardest thing you'll ever do on no sleep. That said, we all do have advice, offered with great love and confidence in your ability to succeed at this :-)
My midwife told me the following. There are 5 reasons the baby cries: hunger, dirty diaper, exhaustion, pain (needs to burp), or over-stimulation. This is a checklist. Overstimulation can mean he is in your arms all day (even mommy's), and laying him down on his own will help (after some initial fussing).
The fact that he overshot his weight requirements by such a large margin may be an indicator that he doesn't need to feed as much as he's telling you. Babies can't tell the difference between "I'm hungry" and "my stomach hurts," so if he's feeling gassy, he may be trying to nurse. Try burping him first, rubbing his tummy and his back. If Greta has a heavy let-down he may be really gassy. That was me with Rowan - he'd unlatch and I'd shoot a stream 2-3 feet away.
Babies can hear highs and lows far outside the adult hearing range (they also have a lot more bones - how cool is that?). Removing stimulation good (Trees!). White noise machines, fans, humidifiers, etc, help remove audio stimulation.
Heat/Cold: babies have a very small range of ok temperatures. If he wakes really easily, he might be too hot or too cold, plus the overly warm thing is a factor in SIDS. Dry heat may be making him really thirsty, though, in which case he'll want to nurse - humidifier good (I can recommmend one, too :-).
Noises: they cry out in their sleep, and they spend a lot of their sleep cycles close to waking. PLEASE read the sleep book we gave you - very short easy to understand explanation of infant sleep cycles in the beginning. It saved our lives. It has a LOT of suggestions for family bed/co-sleeping arrangements, too. Stan 68 is on the money with his comment, as well.
WE LOVE YOU!!!!! You're doing great!
Post a Comment