We met Valeriana on Monday (that's her holding the baby). She came to our apartment from Rockland County. We sat around the coffee table and drank tea and water and discussed homebirthing. Our biggest concern was how things work if something goes "wrong." She explained that there are different times that a transfer to hospital care could happen. The first is long before the birth if she decides that there is some reason why I can't safely have a homebirth. The second is if for some reason Jim and I decide it's not what we want to do. The third is at the birth. She said that a good midwife will know if there's something maybe not "right" and will assess the situation. Is it something that can be handled at home or is it something that will need a hospital transfer. Since we live 5 blocks from New York Downtown Hospital (and the midwife has a car), it won't take long to get there if we need to go. Incidentally, most transfers at the birth are due to the woman wanting drugs, not progressing satisfactorily or just for some reason wanting to go to the hospital. It is almost always not a situation that requires an ambulance or a life threatening situation.
We really liked her a lot and felt more and more after meeting her that this is the right decision for us and for Mango. Both Jim and I are more afraid of what might happen if we go to the hospital than what might happen at home. The more you read about homebirths and natural births, the more this makes sense.
So the decision has been made, and we're excited about it and feel wonderful about our decision.
I would definitely recommend Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for anyone who wants to learn more about natural/non-hospital births. It's really quite eye opening. Here's Valeriana's site: www.homebirthmidwifery.com.
8 comments:
Thanks, Greebs!
I like that Valeriana was is an R.N. who worked in hospitals for twenty years before she started doing homebirths -- I feel like she's seen both sides of the equation and knows exactly what she's doing and why.
Wow! What a great decision! I am so happy for you, that you have found someone wonderful who you trust.
I would have loved to have homebirth, but we just didn't do the research in advance.
I would support you in whatever decision you made, but I think homebirthing is a great decision for you and Greta (and Baby Borat) and I couldn't be happier.
You might want to warn the neighbors about the, uh, screaming...
Just kidding, Greta, really.
Grets...
I for one am delighted that you have found the best of both worlds...
A medical professional (RN) who believes passionately in how one enters the world. You both have done your homework and now deserve to enjoy the rest of this preparatory time.
I feel as though it has been tough for you at each stage dealing with one thing or another.You both have honored this little being having decided to allow Mango to be content in his little space... with no more invasions...until he decides to enter his outside world.
And now you have someone with whom you feel safe and will help in a more spiritual way guide Mango as he continues his journey with a natural entry to meet those he will need to bond with... YOU and JIM. ;- )
This Nana is content.
Well Julie - the next one can be a home birth...
Mango needs more cousins his age!!
Thanks for your support. It means so much. We knew we could count on the Santa Cruz hippie! I am guessing home birth is pretty common there.
It's funny because Jim did talk to the midwife about the neighbors. He was concerned they might wonder or worry about what was happening. He also was concerned about the landlord. She told him that the walls seemed pretty thick and anyway, when we're in the middle of things we really won't care. She told us one story about a homebirth she did where the woman was kind of stalled at 2 AM. Remedy? Put on some loud No Doubt and jump around like crazy teenagers!
Jim and I need to come up with a soundtrack for the birth just in case, but I'm thinking I will want some darkness and quiet.
Oh and the midwife also said no permission is needed from the landlord. It's our private space. We can do what we want there! YEAH!
Thanks, Mom. I am so glad you guys are behind us on this. It's true, I have really struggled with whatever decisions we've had to make so far for Mango...deciding not to do the amnio being the last one. It feels good to have made this one too and now we can go back to enjoying his movements and getting ready for him to come!
I absolutely feel that this is every parent-pair's right to decide for themselves; and I'm with you all the way. I like that Valeriana (what a lovely name) is an RN. And I am very, very leery of hospitals in general -- it seems that so often you come out of one of them sicker than when you went in, with all the hospital-endemic bacteria floating around. Of course we have to go to one in an emergency, but when you have a choice, I think I'd always opt to stay out of their range!
So now, dear Grets, you are in the lovely middle trimester, and must be glowing and happy; bless you, dear daughter-in-love.
sniff sniff...
pass the tissue please!
I can feel the love!
BTW, Grets/Jim, my (deaf) friend told me last night (yes, we were signing together!) that she had her 2nd child at home with a midwife. She said it was a wonderful experience for her.
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